Someone Else
by SSMcPriceley
Summary: Connor returns from his mission to find a lot has changed. Can he rekindle an already rocky relationship with his old best friend Steve? Or will the fact that Steve's tried to move on with his life get in the way?
1. Chapter 1

Anyone in his position would have been grateful and anyone who knew him would have been envious. But Steve Blade felt neither of these things about his life. As far as he was concerned, life was too busy and also too empty.

At just 21 years old, Steve had managed to secure a job as a stage manager in one of the larger broadway theatres. He had a position clamoured for and for one so young it was quite an achievement.

However, Steve, gaining this job had been almost entirely for selfish reasons. Everytime he walked into the stage door of the theatre, he took a deep breath in and every day he was reminded of his life at school.

Steve had never much enjoyed the theatre himself, he found it boring if he was being honest but his job was a constant reminder of someone who did.

The combined smell of sawdust, varnish, sweat and paint seemed like it had been lifted straight from Connor McKinley.

Two years ago Connor had flown half way round the world to complete his mission and two years later he was coming home. Steve had begun counting down the days since the very first day Connor was gone. It would be less than a week until the plane from Uganda would land on American soil and they would be reunited again.

Connor had explained before he left that he wouldn't be able to contact Steve. However, just six months into his mission Connor had begun writing letters telling of a scandalous excommunication and thus his ability to bend the rules.

Steve had suggested he come home if there was nothing keeping him there but Connor had replied that the people there needed him anyway. Steve hadn't said how he needed Connor here with him.

Two years rolled by very slowly. As the end of the mission came round, Connor wrote to ask if Steve had a place for him to say. He couldn't go home, there wasn't a place for him in Utah anymore. So Connor would be flying into JFK and Steve would be there to meet him.

Steve had no idea what to expect. Two years was a long time and he had no doubt that Connor would at least look different if he hadn't changed in other ways. He didn't even know where their relationship was let alone where he wanted it to go.

Meanwhile, Connor nervously crammed his flowery suitcase into a baggage holder above his seat and sat down. His companion smiled sadly up at him, knowing that the few short hours they had left would fly by.

He just managed to fit into the seat of the tiny plane that would take him from the tiny village of Kitguli to the city of Kampala where his flight home was. Or where his home would soon be.

Connor watched out the window as the village, the mission centre and his life for two years grew smaller and smaller.

There were eight of them on the minuscule propeller plane. Elder Price and Elder Cunningham were staying behind. He couldn't blame them really. It was clear to everyone that life would be very different once they returned and most of them would become outcasts within their communities.

Elder Cunningham was a no brainer, of course he'd stay in a place which was the first to accept him, not to mention the love he'd found. With a little persuasion, Elder Price would join him.

Connor had been in love once and it hadn't made him stay. But it was now making him return. He didn't know anything about Steve anymore, only his address. He was scared at what he would find.

At Kampala, Connor waved his elders off, a painful ache in him as he realised he may never see many of them again. His companion had hugged him for the longest and he was sure a few tears escaped his eyes. Elder Thomas bestowed a strawberry flavoured box of his namesake upon him for the journey and wished him luck. Connor promised he would be in touch and he gladly accepted all the luck he could get.

He boarded his plane to New York alone and was pleased to have a window seat. He leant his forehead on the cool plastic and closed his eyes. Sleep overcame him provoked by the soft hum of the engines and a general exhaustion.

He woke in a fit of nerves twelve hours later, suddenly realising how close he was to landing. Still in his white shirt, black pants and name tag he decided to change out of his uniform. He had one outfit, unworn for his whole mission, that he'd been saving for this moment. It felt odd to be wearing just jeans and a shirt. He felt like he was lying for some reason. His uniform had felt like an intrinsic part of him, not just his job but his life, and now it was cast aside so he would fit in. So he would be normal.

His heart dropped in time with the plane as the pilot announced their destination. He walked through security in a numb daze trying his best not to collapse from either tiredness or fear. His wheeled suitcase in one hand and a rucksack in the other he headed towards the double doors that led out to civilisation.

The first time Connor scanned the waiting crowd he didn't see Steve. This was because as soon as Steve had laid eyes on Connor an unwelcome physical reaction had overcome him so he'd turned away to hide his now red eyes.

His insides crunched as he felt a calming hand on his shoulder. Steve didn't know what Connor would want from the next few moments. Would a welcome back hug be enough? Should he push for more?

Steve turned and looked into a pair of sparkly blue eyes he'd missed and dreamed about for two years. Connor's lip trembled and Steve caught it with a gentle hand.

"I missed you" he said weakly, realising at once how pathetic he sounded.

"That doesn't even begin to explain it" Connor replied in a similarly aspirant voice.

"You look different" Steve said warily.

"What did you expect?"

"So what happens now?"

"I'm going home with you I thought"

"No I mean now, right now what do we do...?"

Connor dropped his cases and leaned over the barrier, his purpose obvious. He wasn't expecting Steve to move out the way and he was left confused.

"I'm sorry"

"No it's not your fault"

"I just thought...I'm sorry"

"You were gone two years, what did you expect?"

"What?"

"I'm sorry Connor, but there's someone else"


	2. Chapter 2

It was silent on the journey to Steve's house. Connor had never been to New York before despite knowing for much of his life that he needed to get there somehow. Steve smiled inwardly at Connor's excitement at the sight of the simplest things like a yellow taxi and he wished Connor would open up and share it with him.

Connor's eyes were fixed out the window, watching as the lights exploded before him as the taxi emerged from the tunnel. It was first time he'd seen his home. Steve watched the back of his head for a while but then stared out his own window.

Connor was transfixed and obviously not in the mood for conversation but Steve still wondered why he didn't at least say something to him. Steve sighed letting his breath fog up the window. He watched it fade again revealing the familiar skyline.

Connor said nothing as the taxi pulled up outside Steve's apartment block.

"We're here" he announced lamely. He lifted Connor's suitcase and began hauling it up the stairs. Connor followed behind glancing left and right as he went.

Steve struggled one handed with the keys and then opened the door for Connor to step into the threshhold.

It was dark so Steve fumbled for a lightswitch and revealed his small but comfortable apartment.

"Do you want something? A drink?"

Connor looked around the room. It didn't look like a very Steve room, everything was sort of stuffed in. His stomach twinged as he saw two coats hanging up by the door. Looking around closer he noticed that there was no table just two stools at the kitchen counter. There was a pile of empty photo frames on the sofa and this drew Connor's attention to the lack of photos in the room. His mind drifted as he tried to imagine who Steve had found.

"Connor?" Steve probed.

"Are they here?"

"Who?"

"The someone else"

"No, look it's late, you've had a long flight, you should sleep"

"Where is she?"

"Who?"

"The someone else" Connor's dead pan tone made Steve feel uneasy.

"A lot has changed, but not that much"

"Ok, where is he then?"

"He's at the hospital"

"Oh my god I'm sorry"

"No no no, he's a nurse"

"Oh. He sounds great"

"Yeah, he uh...he really is"

Connor shouldered his rucksack again and took the handle of his suitcase. He turned towards the open door that led to the corridor.

"It's on the left" Steve said after Connor's retreating form. As he disappeared he went straight to the fridge and stuck his head inside. He was beginning to have second thoughts.

Connor dumped his stuff in Steve's spare room and immediately returned to the corridor to look in the room opposite.

Connor didn't know why he wanted to look at Steve's space or Steve's stuff or in particular Steve's bed. It was unmade, that Connor thought was very Steve like, but the sheets had spots and that was very un Steve. A pile of books was on the bedside table of one side, he presumed Steve's mystery partner. Steve's side was bare save for a digital alarm clock.

Connor found himself drawn to Steve's side and he watched as his hand reached for the draw. He wondered what Steve kept by his side while he slept and part of him felt like he had the right to know.

He opened the draw carefully and was surprised to find it deep and empty save for a single piece of paper. He reached for it but froze as he heard Steve approach. He shut the draw and turned in time as Steve entered.

"You found your room alright?"

"Yeah I just wanted a look around"

"Well I made you a cup of tea"

"I still don't drink caffeine"

"Oh, I just thought, you know, it's been so long and your mission didn't really...well...I don't know I wasn't thinking sorry"

"It's ok, but I wouldn't mind a glass of water"

Steve nodded swallowing nervously. His hand reached to stroke the back of his neck comfortingly and he went back to the kitchen. Connor eyed the draw but left it to follow Steve.

They sat on the stools side by side facing ahead. Steve gulped and Connor sipped.

"I don't work Monday nights"

"You work nights?"

"Yeah, but not Mondays"

"Ok"

They both took another sip of the water which they were drinking out of mugs.

"What do you do?"

"I'm a stage manager"

"Oh wow. I wouldn't have seen that in you"

"Why not?"

"I just saw you as something different"

"Like what?"

"I don't know, computers or something"

"Computers?" Steve cracked a smile for the first time that night. He allowed himself a small laugh. The sound was strange and rare to him.

"Seriously Connor, I missed you"

"Well I'm glad you had a good time while I was gone"

"You should tell me about Uganda"

"There's not much to tell"

"You were there two years, you must have some stories to tell"

"I'm tired"

"Sorry"

"I'll be up early, you know, jet lag"

"Sure, I sleep late"

Connor finished his drink and made his way to the room Steve had made up for him. He was exhausted but, he didn't manage to fall asleep straight away.

He stared at the ceiling listening to the sounds of the city outside.

Did he have any right to be angry or jealous or whatever feeling it was?

Connor slept restlessly, the feel of a solid bed beneath him unusual. As he predicted he woke early, just before five. He lay in bed for a while but then decided to get up and do what he did every morning in Uganda. Get breakfast ready for his elders. It wasn't until he was actually in Steve's kitchen that he remembered he didn't have to do that anymore.

Connor realised then that after two years of leading he now had no one to lead. He'd had a purpose and now he had very little.

He sat on one of the kitchen stools, his elbows resting on the counter and his head in his hands. The sound of a key in a lock made him jump. So this must be him, the new most important man in Steve's life.

A man in scrubs and trainers carrying a couple of shopping bags entered the room. They made eye contact for the first time and Connor was hoping that there might be something wrong with him. Maybe if he'd been ugly or very short or just something but, in reality he couldn't fault his appearance. Maybe there'd be something wrong with him some other way Connor thought vainly.

"Good morning!" He said brightly, too bright for 5am, "It's Connor right?"

Connor stood up instinctively and nodded.

"I'm Ewan" he dumped the bags on the counter and shook Connor's hand, "I just got back from work, I got us something nice for breakfast, I figured you could use a welcome home"

Connor's heart sank as he realised Ewan was a really nice guy and so far he couldn't flaw his character.

"That's so nice of you" Connor said growing increasingly despairing at Ewan's smile and aura of pleasantness.

"Don't mention it. Steve's told you something about me I presume?"

"Not much" Connor admitted, "You're a nurse and you live together"

"Well there's plenty of time, I wake up around mid day so we can talk then"

"That sounds...great"

"Steve's still asleep?"

"Yeah"

"It's sometimes difficult when I'm working nights and he works evenings, we hardly ever have a moment together"

Finally something for Connor to latch onto that he saw as positive. He didn't know why he was so jealous. Was he expecting Steve to wait two whole years? And wait for what? It wasn't like there was much before.

"But it does mean when we are together it's extra special"

Connor dropped down again.

"Help yourself to breakfast" Ewan said pointing to the bags, "I'm off to bed"

"Goodnight" Connor said limply watching as Ewan disappeared into his and Steve's room.

After a few minutes of sitting in silence Connor forced himself to do something. He looked into one of the bags. Poptarts. Just what he needed, a snack that he'd had far too much of over the past two years and one that reminded him of those two years.

Instead he went to the fridge and poured himself some milk. It tasted strange because he hadn't had cows milk in a while. They only had the village goats to occasionally provide milk. Even the simplest things were so different.

He yawned wondering if there was another couple hours sleep left in him. Connor opened the door he thought was his bedroom but in Steve's identically symmetrical apartment he'd easily made a mistake. He wished he hadn't.

The sight of Steve curled up inside Ewan's arms made him sick and sad at the same time. That should have been him. It should have been his arms holding on to Steve, his chest that Steve's head was pressed to, Steve's hands unconsciously stroking his chest.

He closed the door quietly on the scene, unable to look but finding it permanently printed in his mind anyway and climbed back into his own bed.

He wished it was a single. The double space made him feel alone split, like he was only half himself. The empty space meant to be holding the missing half to make him whole.


	3. Chapter 3

A month in Steve's apartment went by quickly but Connor's routine hadn't changed much. Despite Ewan's pleasant nature it was obvious he was beginning to get irritated.

Connor hadn't even bothered to properly reset his body clock and so was still getting up and going to sleep early. Maybe it was an unconscious decision to avoid his two room mates.

"How long did you say he could live here for?" Ewan asked Steve one evening. Steve was reaching for his coat to leave for the theatre and Ewan was already dressed in his scrubs ready for his shift.

"As long as he needs."

"I know you're his friend and you're trying to be nice but, don't you think he needs to find his own space?" Ewan helped Steve on with his coat taking the opportunity to warp his arms over his shoulders. "I don't want him taking advantage of you."

"He's just spent two years in Uganda, cut him a break."

"Well maybe he needs to settle back in quicker," Ewan massaged Steve's shoulders and rubbed his neck, "Maybe he should get a job."

"Maybe you should leave him alone," Steve murmured quietly before pulling away and making for the door.

"I hardly ever see him!" Ewan protested, "It's like he doesn't even exist!"

"Then why are you complaining?"

Steve's hand was on the door before Ewan grabbed his wrist and pulled him back.

"Can we not fight, please?" He gently ran his thumb in circles and then moved up his forearm until they were pressed together in a natural embrace.

It wasn't a sight that Connor wanted to walk in on and see but, one that he did. The shouting had alerted him to something going on so he'd wandered over. He wasn't sure what he was hoping for. Maybe a fight, some nagging, evidence of a future break up.

But no. He was instead confronted with the image of Ewan's arms wrapped around Steve, their lips pressed together, Steve's fingers curled in Ewan's hair.

It made him feel a bit sick so he turned to leave, stumbling as he went, making too much noise. Ewan whipped round before Connor could make his escape and the pair were then staring at each other.

"Connor?"

Connor flexed his fingers and shifted his weight awkwardly.

"I just...I was going to...have a nice day at work. Night I mean. Have a nice night."

Ewan nodded for a moment then looked Connor up and down before looking back to Steve.

"Steve was just wondering, if you wanted to go to work with him tonight. He thought you might like to get out the house and maybe, I don't know, find a job. He can help you there."

Steve looked at the ground giving a half smile to Connor.

"Only if you want to," He said cautiously glancing to Ewan.

"Sure," Connor said weakly wondering if spending more time with Steve alone was really a good idea.

"I'll leave you to it." Ewan put on his coat and shouldered his bag, "I'll be back in the morning." He kissed Steve lightly on the forehead. Connor felt his hands clench slightly as he saw Steve close his eyes and sigh as it happened. His mind interpreted that for him.

Steve and Connor said nothing to each other as they walked down the steps onto the street, while in the cab to the theatre, or even as they stood in the small foyer inside the stage door.

"Follow me and don't wander off." Was the first thing Steve uttered as they began to climb the stairs to his office.

Despite the circumstances, Connor couldn't help grinning. It was his first time in a broadway theatre, and occasion that was meant to be monumental for him. If he ignored Steve's presence and climbed the stairs in his own world, he could pretend he was anybody. This could be his night, he could be the star.

Steve's office was tiny and Steve explained that the theatre was very old, one of the oldest on broadway, so everything from the dressing rooms to the corridors was pretty pint size.

There were papers scattered everywhere, and the blind was pulled down. The only neat thing in the room was the pile of head shots on the desk, that looked like they'd been measured by angles.

"We're building up our files." Steve explained, heading to the small portable coffee maker and pouring a cup. "Our leads finish in January."

"That's pretty soon." Connor remarked eventually not sure if he was supposed to feel something about this news.

"Yeah, we're pretty pressed for time." Steve downed his cup in a few gulps, squinting as he did so. "It's always cold. And terrible." He smiled at Connor.

"You don't have to drink coffee."

"Don't preach to me. It's never ever happening."

He picked up the phone off his desk and held it to his ear before pressing a button.

"Hey it's Steve. Yes thanks. Can you check the call sheet and make sure everyone's signed in please? Thanks." He tapped the desk as he waited, looking around his office. "Great, thank you."

He replaced the phone and went to his desk, rummaging amidst the debris to find what he wanted. He picked out a piece of paper and smoothed out the creases.

"You can sit down if you want." He gestured for Connor to take the seat opposite.

"Do you want me to do anything?"

"There's nothing that really needs doing. You can open the blind if you want."

Connor moved to the window, springing the blind up and instantly gasping at what he saw. Steve smiled at the sound then swivelled his chair to get a better look at Connor's expression.

Connor looked out of the window across Times Square, lit up by lights and people. It was the first time he'd clapped eyes on the real thing. He was pretty sure he'd just fallen in love for the second time in his life.

"If you want, you can watch the show." Steve said finally after allowing Connor to soak up all he could. "I'll see if we have a spare seat."

Steve stood up and went over to Connor, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"You ok?"

"Yeah." Connor exhaled, "Wow."

"You're welcome." It was only now, looking at Connor closely for the first time since he was back that he noticed several things. First, he had started parting his hair on the other side. It had lost it's definitive auburn status and now looked a different colour depending on the direction of the light.

His jaw was more square, his eye lashes longer, his fingers more elongated, his nose more defined, his eyebrows neater, his lips more curved.

Most of all however, he noticed with a sickly ache within him, that he still loved Connor McKinley.

Connor looked up and blinked surprised, as he noticed how close Steve was standing to him. He frowned, growing a little uncomfortable as he realized their faces were almost brushing together.

"I still like you," Steve said quietly, his fingertips drifting towards Connor's hand.

Connor opened his mouth to say something that might have been 'Ewan' or maybe even 'Me too', but instead of letting words come out, he bridged the gap between himself and Steve.

The kiss was mild, their lips barely even parting, but it was enough to hitch his breath and get his heart racing. Steve closed his eyes and Connor kept them open.

As they pulled apart, a little reluctantly at first, they noticed that they'd hardly moved. Their hands remained hanging by their sides, their feet still firmly planted.

"I'll go and...see about that seat," Steve breathed slowly before clearing his throat and making for the door. It slammed shut a little too hard, the finality of the sound echoing round the room, leaving Connor alone once more.


End file.
